Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
