from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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