I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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