WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
ttyl tear gas
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize