it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just had sex on a roof
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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