My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Randomize
