found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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