I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
