You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
