Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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