Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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