I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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