any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
