why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
