At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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