The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
