Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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