bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You need a sexual gate keeper
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
