Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
