one might say we're banned from that church
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
