I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Randomize
