Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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