Whod you bang
it was like eating out sand paper
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
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