Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My vagina just clenched in fear
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