pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
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