my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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