I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
