she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
