real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
