I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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