he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
