Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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