Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
