marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
