i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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