Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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