The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
