Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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