why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
