we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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