you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
