Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
