Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
