I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
