On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
