Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
