i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
