standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize