I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
