using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
