Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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