just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
