Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
