I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have aggressive nipples.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
