I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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