I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I have already put on my inside pants.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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